The Manly Art of Dance Strategy

From Dancing USA, 2000
By the Seagulls

Whether by nature or by nurture even in social situations, we men tend to think in terms of military-like strategies. In social dancing, we often feel that we must perform superlatively, which keeps many men away from dancing. We who have taken dance lessons, however, have joined the fray and willingly put ourselves in the line of fire, so to speak.

 "Yes, you can't take it with you, but that's the only place you can go without it."

Now that we are ready  to dance, there are some “rules of engagement,” which may help us carry out our mission in a social dance. So first we cover the general rules, then discuss specific stratagies for dancing partners of different skill levels.

The object of social dancing is to have a few enjoyable moments together (and sometimes to chat after.) It takes away from the magic to hear, “Oh, I am a terrible dancer,” or “Are you sure you want to dance with me? I’m just a beginner.” Such statements over-focus on the skill issue, ignoring the social compliment that we pay the lady by offering to dance with her - we want to spend time in her company and perhaps get to know her better.

"Are You Lonesome Tonight"   ...   Elvis Presley

Smile, look the lady in the eye and speak clearly when you ask her to dance. If you are very worried, follow the same instructions. It is diagnostic to see how the lady treats you. Is she kind? Does she look like she is having fun? Do not misinterpret advice to look confident as meaning you should be a “show off.” Our job is to make the lady look good, not to use her to make ourselves the center of attention.

Regardless of the lady’s level of skill, she will enjoy being complimented even if her training in modesty, makes her protest. If she is a good dancer we can compliment her dancing. “I’ve admired your skill on the floor,” “It’s a pleasure to watch you,” “You follow so easily,” “You feel so light,” If we can not sincerely compliment her dancing, we can surely compliment her appearance. “That color is lovely on you,” “What a wonderful smile you have,”or her manner, “You have such an infectious laugh,” “I really enjoy your conversation.”  *  *  *  *

"Hey Good Lookin'"   ...   Hank Williams

Pub's Side Note: John White is from Arkansas, Peter Carlisle is from New Jersey and Caldwell was born in Waipahu. Can you guess which one said, "We gotta send these Flips back to the Philippines." Would you say all of them, only two, just one or none of the above? For our ongoing Poll. Hey, we are learning their methods.