Why Men Can't Dance

By Stephen Ching, North Shore.

The majority of dance instructors and studio owners are female. They may be excellent dancers, and may have excellent people skills, but being a member of the opposite sex, their brains are not wired like a man’s brains. When they teach, they don’t think like a man. By default, they think like a woman, and in their language, they appeal to the feminine nature of the dance.

"If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies."

But men are not motivated by “feeling light and free”. We are motivated by achievement and feeling successful. The average man is also not motivated by being able to move his hips like a Cuban. What are selling points and moments of connection for a woman, can easily be major turn-offs for a man.

"Vaya Con Dios" By Les Paul and Mary Ford 

If there are any women still reading, let me clarify that I’m not writing this article for you. You are free to tag along for the ride, but as a dance instructor, the question I had to come to grips with for the sake of my male students is simply “what is it that motivates a man to embrace this activity as part of a regular lifestyle” Well, it’s not that complicated. While most of us men are not motivated by the promise of feeling “light and free and floating.”

If a woman wants to feel light and free and floating, and I have that ability to give her what she wants, I’m there. If I don’t have a clue as to how to move my hips like a Cuban, I’m not foolish enough to attempt it in public. But if I can get a woman to move her hips, and put a genuine smile on her face while I’m doing it, sign me up! If I can’t, I’d be wise to find some other way to satisfy her. But deep down, surely I’d rather satisfy her.

So men, if you decide to sign up for dance lessons, I implore you to make sure you have a teacher that addresses your concerns. Ask any questions you have, unapologetically. Let them know what you want from them. Let them know that with each lesson, you want them to bring you to a place of confidence and competence, success and victory. Don’t settle for anything less.

"City Lights" by Loyal Garner

Look for specific fruits of less nags and more smiles from your partner; more genuine levels of respect and genuine impressments and less frustration and disappointment. It’s your dollar and it’s your time. It should serve to bring you and your partner closer to each other, instead of further away.